DonвЂ™t give too many words for your ex to react to. The BIFF response (formulated by Billy Eddy/High Conflict Institute) is a technique that usually puts a stop to hostilities and provides a model for respectful communication moving forward.Д«RIEF: Keep it short, typically a paragraph, even when the comment you are responding to goes for paragraphs or pages. These are all good reasons to avoid high conflict communication, but we understand you may not be the one initiating it! So, what can you do when your ex sends you a hostile communication? For further information the Family Courts have a publication on this issue.ДЇamily lawyers often use examples of communications between parties as evidence of family violence, attitudes towards parenting, attitudes towards the other parent and evidence of which parent is better able to make long term decisions or facilitate and support a relationship between the child and the other parent.

In families where there is a high level of conflict and animosity between parents, research shows that children are at a greater risk of developing emotional, social and behavioural problems, as well as difficulties with concentration and educational achievement. It certainly does not discourage further hostile behaviour, nor does it engender goodwill for the future. Reacting to these comments in the same tone creates a pattern of aggressive behaviour that increases conflict rather than reduces it. Hostile comments can show up in text messages, emails, Facebook and face-to-face comments. By Deborah Wilson, Senior Associate and Accredited Family Law SpecialistД¬ommunicating with your ex after separation can be fraught with difficulty and emotion, particularly where it is necessary to keep in regular contact regarding parenting arrangements.

Biff response